Listening to a Skipping Track

I like to talk. I think we all know I like to talk.

I've also been through a lot, which makes me particularly good at understanding other's pain. I think it's stamped on my forehead sometimes because people I don't even know particularly well have always been quite forthcoming.

For as long as I can remember, I've given advice. Today, I'm giving advice about giving advice.

It's difficult, it's complex.

A lot of times, you may find that the receiver of your advice talks about the same problem with no solution... And probably, they go back to the thing that gave them pain in the first place.

It's frustrating. It's emotionally taxing on the advice giver because you care.

The thing is, just because you give advice, doesn't mean the listener is obligated to take it.

You don't truly know what it's like to be in their shoes even if the situation is similar. They can't always see your perspective because things aren't always as simple as it sounds.

It took me a long time to accept this.

When I was young, a lot of bad things happened between my parents. My father was abusive and we stayed. He did something worth going to jail for again... This time for four years. My mother bailed him out and he left us.

Soon after my mother began dating someone new. 12 years later... They are finally openly out as a couple. But it was after years of seeing her smiling like a school girl one week, and crying like her world was ending the next. Do you know what that is like? To watch your mother cry for twelve years? I begged her to move on. I gave her reasons in a nice way. I gave her reasons in a harsh way. At the end of the day it didn't matter.

You are only in control of yourself. You need to do what is best for you. There is only so much you can do for someone, then you have to let it go. We're all moving the same direction at different speeds. We're like leaves in a current, and sometimes people just get caught up.

So what do you do? Keep calm, try your best to be a good friend. Hope they find their way. Be supportive if they make a change. And dear bob don't give advice when you're angry. That helps no one. If eventually, it all becomes too much, you have to do what is best for your life. But when you do that, remember there is a person who is still hurting, so find your balance or separation from the situation.

Like I said, complicated. Just try your best every day.

Lots of love,
Samantha the Fatulous

ps sorry for the hiatus... I'm trying really hard to find a job. That's what I do every second of every day... With the exception of when my friends pry me from my computer.